NAMCO Policing Star Gives Inspirational Speech to Boston Bruins
By Jeremy Strauss
BOSTON, MA -- As part of their 2009 Phil Esposito preseason lecture series, the Boston Bruins hockey team was treated to a very special guest on Friday night.
Boston GM Peter Chiarelli arranged for Mappy -- the legendary video game character from the 1983 NAMCO game of the same name -- to offer the Bruins his opinions on sports and the state of today's world in general.
"I've never talked to a hockey team before," Mappy began the speech. "It's not really my thing, so you'll have to bear with me."
Mappy is one of the most successful police officers of all time. More than once, he compared his career to the sports world today.
Mappy began his career as a mouse police officer in 1983. To date, he has become known as one of the most successful in his profession of all time, stealing back nearly 42 trillion Mona Lisa paintings, 65 quadrillion television sets, and 87 quintillion refrigerators from vicious robbing Meowkies.
Knowledgable of his amazing prowess in law enforcement, the Bruins invited Mappy to give the keynote speech at their preseason event. The guest lecturer is generally expected to give humorous opinions on sports while offering inspiration to the team with regard to their upcoming season. Mappy was no exception.
"I really don't understand that T.O. guy," he said, drawing cheers from the crowd. "How did he get his own show? Why can't I have my own show if he does?"
"Those damn Phoenix Coyotes are so bad, they look like Goro when he doesn't know where I'm jumping," continued Mappy, eliciting the biggest laugh of the night. "They look like they have forty Meowkies chasing them. Jesus Christ."
Bruins players and coaches were quite impressed with Mappy's speech.
"I was pretty much in awe the whole time," said forward Phil Kessel, who has yet to commit long term to Boston. "To be in the presence of a legend like that was incredible. It's amazing that he's so funny considering that he had such a serious career stealing back stolen goods."
"I don't understand that T.O. guy."
"We're all grateful that Mr. Map paid us a visit tonight," said head coach Claude Julien. "This was really something special for the organization that we might only top with a Stanley Cup championship."
Could Mappy's appearance at the event convince Phil Kessel to sign long-term with the Bruins?
While Mappy's initial comments were received as hilarious, and included such satirical comments as the comparison of Brett Favre's comeback to Goro's attempt to return to the game after a seven year absence, as well as the statement that "Kanye West has made more bitches cry than Meowkies I killed by microwave radiation," the star of the night closed his discourse with some truly motivating words.
"If you want to win, you have to be the best. I've believed it since 1983, when I first started playing Robin Hood, stealing back those stolen goods. If this 'Stuckly Cup' you keep speaking about is your goal, believe you can get it. It is your Mona Lisa, your refrigerator, your TV. Beat the other teams, your Meowkies.
"And you will win. I know you will."
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