Lou Holtz: "Today was a dream. Everyone please wake up."

Legendary coach refuses to believe ND loss to Michigan occurred


By Jeremy Strauss

ANN ARBOR, MI -- ESPN college football analyst and former Notre Dame head coach Lou Holtz has an answer for his now-undoubtedly large number of critics: this whole thing never actually happened.

"Today was a dream," said Holtz Saturday following the University of Michigan's victory over the Fighting Irish. "Everyone please wake up so we can commence the remainder of the college football season."

Just a few weeks ago, Holtz predicted a season capped by a trip to the BCS National Championship Game for his beloved Irish. However, Saturday's loss at the hands of the formerly-lowly UM Wolverines might hinder this mission.

"The game wasn't played, you see," aid Holtz. "The game is tomorrow. Today is still Friday night. I'm sure you all realize that these sort of hallucinations happen sometimes with dreams."


Holtz believes Notre Dame have a good chance in "tomorrow's game."

The Michigan Wolverines, however, are having trouble believing Holtz's somewhat outlandish statements.

"This is just like a dream," said Michigan freshman quarterback and leader of Saturday's win Tate Forcier. "Like an awful, horrible dream that Lou Holtz might not wake up from."

Michigan's coach Rich Rodriguez urged his players not to jump the gun.

"Hey, they could still go to the National Championship game," he warned. "If every team in Division I lost all the rest of their games they might have a shot."

When it was made, Holtz's seemingly ridiculous predicition, sent shocks of stupidity throughout the college football world. According to the football "guru," Notre Dame's only difficult game would come against Southern Cal.

"We might be the second hard game he has to play this year," said USC head coach Pete Carroll Saturday, fresh off a victory against Ohio State. "But of course, that's right, he doesn't believe that loss happened today."

"We couldn't do with the ball today what Lou Holtz wanted us to do with the ball today," said Irish head coach Charlie Weis. "We'll have to play better in the actual game tomorrow, when it's not just Lou Holtz's nightmare dream."

"Oh and by the way, this sucks," added Weis.