Omar Minaya Lands On Disabled List

Injury attack on Mets continues as GM goes down

By Marty Strauss

NEW YORK -- Omar Minaya, General Manager of the New York Mets Baseball Association, has landed on the team’s disabled list, adding another loss to the already injury-filled 2009 Mets.

Minaya was rushed to the hospital at the end of Tuesday’s irrelevant ball game against yet another club a minor league team New York should have easily beaten. He is said to have suffered a broken spinal cord, which coupled with his usual depression and stress, led doctors to preliminarily diagnose Mets-itis.

“He appears to have broken his back due to carrying a heavy burden very often, and that is also the source of his stress," said team doctor Joseph Allen. "Managing this horrible team, we think this condition [Mets-itis] was inevitable."

An artist's depiction of the load that Minaya had been carrying on
his back, which eventually caused him to break that very same back.

The Mets have put an ad in the New York Times looking for an interim GM for the remainder of their worthless season. Until then, starter Johan Santana will be taking Minaya’s place.

"I've already given up on the season, so I'm not playing anyway," explained Santana. "It's not like the GM will have to do anything for the rest of this season."