CHICAGO-Employees at Chicago's Clark Street and Diversey Parkway Borders Books and Music say they pretty much can't even "give away" a book entitled "Favre: The Total Package," due to the fact that Favre is such a massive tool. The twelve remaining copies of the book sit out on shelf, rarely even looked at, with the exception of the occasional sneer or look of disgust from the store's customers. The cover of the book depicts Favre, clad in his old Green Bay Packers uniform, raising triumphantly, no doubt celebrating a touchdown pass every decent Green Bay fan would eventually come to regret cheering for when they realized what a complete douche Favre is. Despite the book's promise of a "limited edition holographic Favre tribute card," most customers agreed they'd rather just pay for their toilet paper at Target or CVS, where it's cheaper and sold in bulk. "I don't know what the heck we're going to do with these things," store employee Jacob Horn said. "We could honestly make more money having a bonfire and selling them to people as kindle. But, I guess that's what happens when you turn your back on everyone who ever cared about you just so you can have another shot at the glory that will inevitably elude you for the rest of your pitiful career. I guess." Horn says that the store plans to lower the cost of the books from $2.99 to $1.99 next week, and after that, will just pay people to take them.
By Daniel Strauss
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