PHILADELPHIA -- Look out, Brett Favre. You may yet have even more competition at QB this season.
John Madden, an NFL legend in broadcasting and coaching, has announced he is in the process of a attempting a comeback into the league he retired from just 50 years ago.
Madden, a former 21st round draft pick by the Philadelphia Eagles in 1958, called it quits all too early with the onset of a crushing knee injury just a year after his selection. In fact, the former standout offensive tackle never even had the chance to play in a professional game. Now, Madden claims he’s trying to change all that – and this time, as a quarterback.
“I just thought, I wanna get back out there, get my hands out and swat the ball toward the other players,” Madden said Thursday at a press conference in Philadelphia. “This is the right decision. I know it.
“Nobody plays the game better than Brett Favre,” he added.
“There are at least a dozen teams that would have legitimate interest in John,” ESPN’s Chris Mortensen said. “Of course, the obvious choice is the Eagles. A McNabb-Vick-Madden tandem would be almost unstoppable.”
In fact, according to numerous reports, upon hearing Madden’s proclamation, Donovan McNabb sent Philly’s head coach Andy Reid a text message reading only: “SIGN HIM.” The text was eerily similar to the one just recently exchanged between the pair when Michael Vick became available, a detail that leads many to believe Madden will end up in the City of Brotherly Love.
Along with the Eagles, however, many analysts believe the Detroit Lions could be interested. In Detroit, where halfway adequate players are needed at nearly every position, an athlete of Madden’s caliber could be heavily desired.
The response from professional athletes using Twitter was nothing less than overwhelming: from the Redskins’ Albert Haynesworth, “we need a real quarterback…and now we can get one”; from Sidney Crosby, “I was excited for Favre, but this is revolutionary!”; and from notorious Twitter user Shaq, who immediately challenged Madden to a game of Tiddlywinks on his show 'Shaq vs.", “Good to have you back, John. It’s been too long.”
Brett Favre, who recently announced a comeback of his own but does not understand Twitter, was asked to comment on the situation at hand.
“Just like my arm at 39 isn’t what it was at age 20, I’m sure John’s arm at 73 isn’t what it used to be either,” Favre noted. “It’s going to be a tough road to get back, but I think he can do it if he tries real hard.”
Of course, Favre raises a strong point, which is that of Madden’s fitness status. If Madden reports to his next team’s upcoming preseason game overweight, he could face trouble. However, Madden assured fans that “a few minutes on the bike and some squat thrusts” would silence all critics.
Madden’s fear of flying could also be a setback. Taking his bus to all road games – which he assured reporters would certainly not change – would force the no-time all-star to miss several practices per week. However, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell reminded the public that John knows every team’s offense so well that missing a few practices here or there wouldn’t be a problem.
It has been additionally noted that most of the athletes currently in the NFL were not born when Madden was originally drafted. However, when asked whether the league’s changes in the past 50 years would negatively impact the comeback, Madden was quick to reply.
“I’ve been sitting on my ass watching these games for so many years. I think I know what’s going on in this league.”
As a result of Madden's return, EA Sports announced plans to put Madden on the cover of the Madden NFL 2011 videogame. Madden reportedly placed a call to EA insisting that they pull his picture on account of the “Me-curse.”
BOOM. Tough Actin' Tinactin.
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