Chase Utley Forces Emergency Stop of Phillies’ Team Bus to Visit That Place from “Diners, Drive-in’s, and Dives”

By Marty Strauss

TRENTON, NJ -- The Philadelphia Phillies trip from Philadelphia to the New York Mets Citi Field was interrupted this Saturday when second baseman Chase Utley called for an emergency stop of the trip to visit a restaurant which he had seen featured on the Food Network Show, “Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives.

Upon hearing repeated pleas to halt the vehicle, bus driver Ernie Watkins finally pulled over to what he had been told by Utley was a "quick little rest stop.” What Watkins found, however, was a small restaurant with only one dirty bathroom in the back.


Chase Utley forced a late arrival to Citi Field because of this "restaurant."

Phillies General Manager Rubén Amaro Jr. was justifiably displeased at Utley, who had deceieved the entire team into thinking it could finally go to the bathroom. Among those hit hardest by the one-toilet stop was first basemen Ryan Howard, who reportedly “really had to go real bad can’t talk now gotta go gotta go please go away."

While the rest of the team waited in line to use the pot, however, Utley could be found looking at a menu.

"Chase asked me whether he should get the Scrumptious Fried Chicken Dipped in Pudding or the Cheesy Fries with Bacon and Lard," said a disgruntled Amaro. "I told him to get the hell back on the bus and shut up."

"Those were the two dishes featured in that food network diner show," Utley explained later. "They both looked so good; I couldn't decide what to get."

Following a long argument with Amaro about possible health problems and urgent time constraints, Utley hid in the small bathroom and refused to come out unless he had his way. Finally, Amaro was forced to give in, and sat while Utley licked off all the fat from his awful, heart-attack-causing fried chicken.


Utley felt inclined to stop because of this man, who is sometimes on television.

"I felt just like that Guy Fieri," said Utley. "He's so awesome."

“Chase is really a kid inside," said outfielder Shane Victorino. "After he was done with the meal he dumped some beer on me, just like those fans at Wrigley. It was hilarious."

"This was just a little treat," added Amaro. "Besides, as much as I fought with him, it's nice to see those places in real life, even if they are dingy dumps."

The Phillies arrived in Citi Field promptly midway through the 4th inning, and took the field, replacing several good-sport Mets fans that had been playing instead of them. Utley, however, left the game in the 7th inning due to a tummy ache. He did not return and is day-to-day.