By Jeremy Strauss
Editor-in-chief
MIAMI, FL -- When the final gun sounded on Sunday night's NFL Pro Bowl, a 41-34 AFC victory, fans and players alike thought they had put to rest the horrors of the world's most boring sporting event.
But just as those in attendance were waking up from their slumber to leave the arena, a male figure in a suit -- now noted to be NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell -- could be seen running on to the field and shouting a strange mantra over and over:
"That's home field for the AFC! Home field for the AFC!"
Players in this scene simply had no idea their actions had any affect on anyone's lives!
Alas, in one of the greatest tricks in all of professional sports, the NFL made last evening's Pro Bowl count toward home field next week's actual big game.
"We said it would be in Miami but it won't," laughed Goodell in an on-field press conference that took place directly after his rampage. "It's gonna be in Indianapapolis, 'cause the AFC won the game.
"First year of Super Bowl home field advantage begin!"
Despite the twist, somewhat confused players claimed after the game that they had no intention of playing hard during the contest.
"I guess I'm glad I could help out my conference," said the Texans' Matt Schaub, who was named the game's MVP. "But I really wasn't trying to win. It was just like any other Texans game."
"I've always been of the belief that All-Star games should count toward national championship games," said the Packers' Aaron Rodgers. "That's why I like baseball. I wish I had known. Maybe I would've tried a little more."
Despite the added pressure, Matt Schaub says he played "just like any other Texans game"
Luckily, this year's Super Bowl will be played in a dome, and thus could have been the site of the big game regardless of the new rule. However, future games could be played in cold climates such as Green Bay, Detroit, or even, as Goodell has suggested, Nova Scotia.
Sources say Goodell is attempting to get a new rule implemented that would allow the winning conference to choose whether the game is played in their home arena or at a neutral site in Nova Scotia, Canada.
"I just thought it would be fun," Goodell noted. "Lighten up."
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