Olympic Skier likely to lose all popularity very soon
By Jeremy Strauss
Editor-in-chief
VANCOUVER, BC -- Today, Lindsey Vonn is a U.S. champion Olympic skier, the pride of her country, and a role model for girls everywhere. In a few days time, however, nearly all of those titles will disappear.
"To most people, the Olympics are cool for at least a few hours," Vonn said on Wednesday. "Then, it's like, I'd rather watch the Yankee game. I now realize my days of relevance are numbered."
Yes, a week from now, skiing will return from its current primetime position to its rightful place on random Saturday afternoons when nothing else is on. The sport will change from a must-watch to a must-turn-off-immediately, as Americans slowly begin to remember its sheer tediousness.
Most importantly, the excitement of snow on hills will go back to being just snow on hills.
"I'm glad I'm on T.V. all the time now," said Vonn. "People get to see me talking about my sport and actually skiing. This is something that only comes about twice every decade for me.
"It's like I'm sort of famous."
Vonn claims skiing will likely return to its original state of irrelevance quite soon
Like most Olympians, Scott Moir, a Canadian ice dancer who recently brought home a gold medal for his country, echoed Vonn's sentiments.
"My sport is especially irrelevant," said Moir. "I mean, during the Olympics, a lot of people even think it's irrelevant. A few weeks from now, think of how little people will care about me."
Shaun White, an American snowboarder, has shot down Vonn's comments, claiming they misrepresented most Olympians.
"I'm sort of famous," he said. "And I'm sort of famous year round. No damn skier is gonna take that away from me."
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