#99 now forever 99
By Jeremy Strauss
Editor-in-chief
TORONTO -- Changing one's last name to the Spanish number he wears or wore as a pro athlete is indeed one of the strangest trends in today's culture. Now, in the unlikeliest of events, hockey legend Wayne Gretzky has jumped on that bandwagon.
This Saturday, "the Great One" announced will never again go by the name that became synonymous with hockey, as a federal judge officially confirmed that Wayne Gretzky's name is now Wayne NueveNueve.
Sports fans remember well when Bengals pro football receiver Chad Johnson became Chad Ochocinco in 2008. Now, NueveNueve, who wore the famous #99 throughout his illustrious career, joins Ochocinco in a select class of excellence.
"I realize this decision may shock you, but I know in my heart that it's the right one," said NueveNueve. "I love Spanish, I love my number, and now I can show that eternally."
Wayne NueveNueve began his career with the Edmonton Oilers.
Gretzky -- er, NueveNueve, that is -- also wanted to make sure his fans realized that both N's in NueveNueve are capitalized. This apparently accentuates both 9's in the number while diverging NueveNueve from Ochocinco.
"I fully support Mr. NueveNueve's decision," said NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman. "I think we all ought to honor the greatest player in hockey history's choice and love him for it."
"Wayne NueveNueve was the greatest player I ever played alongside," said Mark Messier. "As you can see, I won't be even referring to his former name anymore."
NueveNueve said he has plans to promote other professional athletes to follow the path he has set.
"I'll never forget my playing days with Mark UnoUno," he said.
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